Today, I did something I swore I would never do. As I was slowly strolling around the streets of Rome, I came around a corner and there was a little old Italian man sitting there advertising that he could read fortunes. At first I smiled and walked past him as I thought the devil would fly inside of me if I even walked too close. But as I took a few more steps I thought that was impossible and decided to have a little fun with it. Besides, he was wearing a necklace with the quintessential plastic Italian chili peppers to ward off the evil spirits and had a horseshoe on the table so I figured we were both okay.
As I sat down he was saying bella, bella, bellisima bella. He was apparently overwhelmed by my beauty. Being the skeptic I am, I was certain it was all for a bigger tip. But I played along without giving him any information so he would have ammunition to generalize my future. I wanted the real deal, the whole shebang.
He gently took my hand in his and the only questions he asked me were where I was from and how old I was. I answered California and 38 to which he nearly fell down off the back of his chair. "Oh no, no, bella. No si e 38! California is good to you!" As he kissed his fingers and raised them to the sky. Totally shmoozing me at this point. Hey, I'll let him. Who doesn't want to feel beautiful and young, no? Anyway, he began to hover his hand over my forearm and down onto my hand, he went over each finger one at a time and then went back up to my forearm and gently wiped down from my forearm and out to the ends of my fingers explaining something about energy I couldn't understand. I didn't care though the good part was coming. I don't understand when my Chinese acupuncturist talks about my chi either and I don't care as long as his unwinding of my chi makes me poop more regularly.
He began by looking at the palm of my hand and started telling me about my life. He said I was in business. An owner and I would be very profitable. This guy is quickly becoming my new best friend. He said that would go on and on but that sometime in the next year I would be starting a new career, something in addition to what I am doing now. Okay, I can go with that. That is entirely possible. Then it starts getting weird. He said, "Si scrivera un libro." You will write a book. An autobiography. How could he possibly know I have wanted to do that for many years and have pages and pages of journal notes for this yet unwritten book?
Next, he moves on to my health. He turned my hand over and said I have too much stress which affects my stomach. He told me I need to slow down. WAIT....WHAT? How the heck could he know that by looking at the back of my hand? I wanted to say, "Yeah, that's why I go get my chi unwound by the Chinese guy I don't understand!" But, I didn't. I just got really excited. Three for three this guy is good and starting to win me over.
Next, my love life. Oh crap, here we go. He ran his finger over the "love line" on my hand and said the following..."You have two lives. The one before and the one after." And he went about a third of the way down my love line and brushed it away with his hand. Almost like he shooed it away and said that was done...first life. So far, so true. Then he said, "Ahhh bellissima, you will love again in your new life. You will have more children. I see four all together." Again, with the WHAT? I was a little too stunned to pay attention to what he said after that. Something about the signs of my kids, Jake being the boss man (which is definitely in his cards if he has his way), and something else about Mercury. I'm not really sure but at some point the horseshoe came out and that was being rubbed on my hand. The main show was over and the closing ceremonies were beginning.
He then did some kind of energy release all over me. He gently ran his hands down my arms, up my back and over my head and down my shoulders. He then kissed the top of my head twice and said we were done. I stood up and he grabbed me in his arms and gave me a big huge Italian hug, kissed me a little too long with his one yellow toothed mouth and pokey mustache, looked into my eyes, and told me to "be happy, Bella, much happiness is ahead of you."
I really don't want to talk about what happened after that which was that he told me he does massages and could come to my hotel room and give me an "energy release massage". Ummmm, no thanks. And no I won't meet you at McDonald's at 8:30 tonight either.
I don't know how this man could have known some of the things he did. They were too specific. I will not judge the experience other than to say that it was, in fact, an experience. And one I will remember for a very long time. Grazie, Mr. One-Toothed Fortune Teller man for giving me a little bit of something to possibly look forward to.
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