Musings on the Train

What do you do when you are on a train possibly in the wrong car and definitely in the wrong seat?  You write, of course.  I imagine myself in a movie right now, there is some score playing in the background and the scene is me riding on a train narrating what I’m writing. You know, like in Julia & Julia.  Except I’m not cooking.  Maybe this is more like Eat, Pray, Love meets Julia & Julia.   At this point I am on the “Eat” part of the movie.  I have been eating and eating and eating.  Because you know, calories don’t count when you are in Italy.  You can eat all the pasta and pizza and gelato you want and your butt stays the same size.  Thank the good Lord above that he created that special someone that created the high waisted summer dress. 

It’s been a few days since I gave my observations of all things Italian so it has come to that time again.  Here they are for this week:

One:  This isn’t about the Italians…it’s about the Asians in Italy.  They seriously know how to pose for pictures.  At first I thought it may have just been the one girl I saw posing while she seductively ate her gelato cone.  But oh no…it’s pretty much all of them.  None of those shots will come back boring like my “smile kids” white girl photos.  They twist and spin and arch and make sexy faces and run their fingers through their hair.  It’s amazing.  It’s like a full-blown photo shoot.   After watching this for a week and a half Jake and I decided to have our own little session.  Here’s what we came up with. 

Normally I would NEVER put a picture of myself in a bathing suit, white, beginning of summer body but if you look behind me...those are some the posing lovelies.

Two:  Italians look so amazing walking around the streets.  They look put together from head to toe.  The women are dressed to kill.  And the shoes….OH THE SHOES!!!   They have made this flip-flop, Ugg boat wearing momma want to start a new line item in the budget.  It’s amazing.  And how they walk on the cobblestone streets in them without looking like an ostrich or getting a stiletto heel stuck and falling down is beyond me.    Something about the way they walk and carry themselves has such a confidence.  Natural.  Comfortable in their skin and sexy as hell.

And the men.  I think only European men could get away with wearing purple seersucker pants and an orange shirt and it actually makes you want to run right out and buy the same outfit.  And as much as it’s all about the shoes with the women, it’s all about the pants with the men.  All I am going to say is they wear them well.  No baggy butt, pants on the ground, situations going on here.  The gays would be so proud.  And their shoes are rockin’ too…

Three:  As put together in the clothes department as they are one would think the homes would reflect that same level of “put togetherness”.  Not so much.  I guess they are too busy doing things outside the home that they don’t really worry about minor things on the interior…like whether or not the cover plate for the toilet flusher (which is way up on the wall about eye level) is even remotely straight or not.  It’s up there…that’s all the matters.   And if a tile breaks in the shower…well…whatever…the neighbor might have a spare one lying around that will fit.  It matters not if it isn’t part of the same family on the color wheel.  Again, it’s up there and that’s all that matters.

Four:  Keeping along the lines of the very relaxed construction/decorating observations, the bathroom situation in Italy leaves a lot to be desired.  It’s like they just really don’t care about the potty.  Most of the public bathrooms are unisex and if you didn’t have a nose would appear clean.  However, since most of us do have the sense of smell, it is atrocious.  I would much prefer to find a bush to hide behind and squat than have to use a toilette outside of my hotel room.  In Verona, I saw my first hole in the ground toilet that I was warned about.   I actually tried one just to see how it worked.  Kinda like peeing behind a bush.  And I wondered how these sexy women in their rockin’ stilettos accomplish such a feat.  Somehow the two images just don’t go together.  And I also wondered what a woman does when she is wearing pants?  It’s not exactly as if we can aim, you know?

Here's the hole.  I think those ridges are like some kind of foot grip??  I suppose if your legs are long enough you could brace your legs all the way against the wall.  At least they give you a toilet bowl brush so when the poop doesn't land directly in the little hole you can clean up after yourself.

Well, I think that’s enough for now.  I want to look at the beautiful Italian countryside out my window.  Ciao!